The introduction of the word ‘career’ in the lives of women is swiftly redefining the virtues of a good relationship for today’s new-age couples…
“Shalabh was asked by his mom if the girl he had chosen for marriage would let go of her pursuit of happiness through lifework (read career) whenever needed, and he immediately replied in the affirmative to avoid further discussion,” recollects 30-year-old Priya Madaan when talking about the over-rated virtue or vice (depending on which school of thought one subscribes to) of women’s decisions regarding their work-life that gives them a high in life. Today’s women are caught between the traditional people, who are utterly disdainful of women who choose their careers over becoming the 24/7 homemaker and support system for the family even when there are no financial constraints, and the other more modern people, who are instead frowning upon the ladies giving up their work-life for the simple pleasures of life such as one’s marriage, motherhood or for simply managing the household.
25-year-old Shruti Bhatia, a recipient of the excellent performer award, quit her job at the mere confirmation of her eight-months-later wedding date. Unusual in the professionals’ world, the simple reasons, tells Shruti “of wishing to make a home, socialise more with old and new families and figure out a comfortable way of pursuing a career” invited surprise and criticism from those who for a decade or two have only epitomised the ‘perfectly juggling’ avatar of women.
But what Shruti did is somewhat closer to what 41-year-old Jennifer Wilkov and 42-year-old Kimberly Mylls, authors of a recent book, Boys Before Business: The Single Girl’s Guide to Having It All, suggest. Advising the wives (as well as the husbands) to ‘put themselves first, their relationship second, and their career last’ for having a lasting relationship, the authors feel that this way the women would actually perform better because of the love and comfort back home. So, according to the authors, staying late at work and cancelling a scheduled date with the spouse to stay behind the desk for longer are actions that must be avoided! Also, the advice usually given to men apply equally to career women – do not bring workplace problems back home with you!
While one may crib about the title of the book that anticipates how most often women are required to put the men first and not vice versa, there are a lot of privileges that women enjoy and men don’t complain about. For instance, several organisations in our country allow women comfortable work hours. “Lesser number of working hours for women is not a part of our mainstream Human Resource policies, but my team manager with the help of HR has revised my working hours to suit my responsibilities and priorities at home. This hasn’t affected my performance at all. In fact, I am more focused and grateful to my organisation because of this concession at work,” says 33-year-old Shweta Pandey (name changed) working in the sales division of a Telecom company.
Albeit all contentions and advises lead to ‘considering’ the relationship a top priority, what probably is worth introspecting is that nothing can slip off one’s priority list unless you actually don’t hold it there anymore!
“Shalabh was asked by his mom if the girl he had chosen for marriage would let go of her pursuit of happiness through lifework (read career) whenever needed, and he immediately replied in the affirmative to avoid further discussion,” recollects 30-year-old Priya Madaan when talking about the over-rated virtue or vice (depending on which school of thought one subscribes to) of women’s decisions regarding their work-life that gives them a high in life. Today’s women are caught between the traditional people, who are utterly disdainful of women who choose their careers over becoming the 24/7 homemaker and support system for the family even when there are no financial constraints, and the other more modern people, who are instead frowning upon the ladies giving up their work-life for the simple pleasures of life such as one’s marriage, motherhood or for simply managing the household.
25-year-old Shruti Bhatia, a recipient of the excellent performer award, quit her job at the mere confirmation of her eight-months-later wedding date. Unusual in the professionals’ world, the simple reasons, tells Shruti “of wishing to make a home, socialise more with old and new families and figure out a comfortable way of pursuing a career” invited surprise and criticism from those who for a decade or two have only epitomised the ‘perfectly juggling’ avatar of women.
But what Shruti did is somewhat closer to what 41-year-old Jennifer Wilkov and 42-year-old Kimberly Mylls, authors of a recent book, Boys Before Business: The Single Girl’s Guide to Having It All, suggest. Advising the wives (as well as the husbands) to ‘put themselves first, their relationship second, and their career last’ for having a lasting relationship, the authors feel that this way the women would actually perform better because of the love and comfort back home. So, according to the authors, staying late at work and cancelling a scheduled date with the spouse to stay behind the desk for longer are actions that must be avoided! Also, the advice usually given to men apply equally to career women – do not bring workplace problems back home with you!
While one may crib about the title of the book that anticipates how most often women are required to put the men first and not vice versa, there are a lot of privileges that women enjoy and men don’t complain about. For instance, several organisations in our country allow women comfortable work hours. “Lesser number of working hours for women is not a part of our mainstream Human Resource policies, but my team manager with the help of HR has revised my working hours to suit my responsibilities and priorities at home. This hasn’t affected my performance at all. In fact, I am more focused and grateful to my organisation because of this concession at work,” says 33-year-old Shweta Pandey (name changed) working in the sales division of a Telecom company.
Albeit all contentions and advises lead to ‘considering’ the relationship a top priority, what probably is worth introspecting is that nothing can slip off one’s priority list unless you actually don’t hold it there anymore!
Swati Hora
For more articles, Click on IIPM Article.Source : IIPM Editorial, 2010.
An Initiative of IIPM, Malay Chaudhuri and Arindam chaudhuri (Renowned Management Guru and Economist).
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